It's been almost five years since I created this place. I never thought it would last long. But as you may see, I was wrong. So many times I've wanted to close the site but I never had guts to do it. And I always come back here. I come for memories. For hope. For my lost dreams. I feel like this place is a part of me. It's so neglected and nearly abandoned... If I only had more time and will to keep it running.
I ran from any form of contact with others. I hate forums, message-boards, community portals and alike. I don't like the idea of being wide open in public and showing off yourself - it's like I would be asking to be hated. Creatures like me are ment to live in the dark. We are not to be seen and known.
The weblog was (or is) my only form of contact with outside world. My life changed since 2005. But I haven't changed a bit. I have adapted to new, hostile situation. Living in the daylight is painful for me. Everyday, I have to put on my mask and be the person I am not. And why? What is that thing I wanted so badly? No answer comes to my mind. It looks like I'm created to make myself suffer and obliterate myself in the end. I can't end up happy. Not in this world. World of man.
Damn. I wanted to write something a little bit lighter to read.
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I want to thank all people who ever visited this weblog in last five years. Thank you for coming, returning, commenting, chatting and so on. I tried my best to describe what I feel and think just for you, dear visitors. I knew that there's someone who reads my posts and understands my words.
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